Kino B. Demented with the Bad Things by Vitz Photos

A friend of mine once said that I’m the kind of person people write stories about. I like that idea, but I am also paranoid that she meant it negatively. There are a lot of different types of characters. I kid. I just like knowing that I made an impact on your personal story.

I grew up in Ohio and spent the majority of my time in movie theaters, book stores, and horse stables. As much as my life probably looked idyllic to most, I was not happy with it in the slightest. I felt tied down. Stuck. I wanted…

Photo by Daniel Kirsch

I think the attendant forgot about me. I pound on the door with my fists.

“Hey! I’m stuck!”

No answer. Fuck. I slide to the bathroom floor and hit my head against the door a few times. The floor is covered in mold and stains that tell me this is the lowest point of my life. I reach in my pocket for my phone, but of course, it’s not there. Runaways don’t carry their phones. A laugh escapes my mouth.

Runaway. That is what I am. I didn’t want to be found and now I’ve been completely forgotten. Is this…

Lonely Portrait by Kino McFarland

Have you ever been truly alone?
The emptiness inside you is louder than the world.
Nothing grabs at you to swallow you whole.
You want to rip out your intestines
And gouge out your bones.
Someone could hold your hand,
But you know you’re alone.
They can’t feel what you feel.

That’s how you know you’re alone.

It’s worse when you have someone. You could easily end it all if there was no one to hurt. You can push them away and watch them suffer. Then they know what it’s like to be alone. Give them the words that repeat…

Photo: Vague by Kino McFarland (2008)

It’s a pain, is it not?
To get your hair caught on your brush
Tangle after tangle
Snag after snag
The agonizing screams echo in your head
Toughen up, you say
Toughen up
It’s only hair

A glance at the brush brings disgust to your face
Broken, split, inseparable hair
Clinging together
I don’t want to leave you!
One strand screams.
We’ll see each other again in the afterlife.
Calls the other.
Don’t leave me!
I’ll never leave you…

Sobs echo louder than the ripping and tearing of the brush Anger crosses your face and your strokes quicken End this…

Self-appreciation is a rebellious act | Photo by Kino McFarland

I like poetry and novels told in verse
I like lots of black paired with neon splashes
I love horses and dogs
And I don’t understand why I should kill a living, screaming being to get the nutrition that I can get from anywhere else.

I like the stories of your behavior even when I don’t like your behavior
I like the stories of my behavior even when I don’t like my behavior
I love how animals look to me for guidance
And I don’t understand how anyone could hurt someone just because they don’t understand them.

I like movies…

Kino McFarland

I post poetry, essays, and other creative works of writing. Filmmaker and Performer/Escape Artist

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